Bruce Feiler - Where God Was Born, Abraham, Walking The Bible

God: The New Rebellion
Wednesday, March 7, 2007

My brother sent me an article from the Wall Street Journal about what it calls a "growing trend" of children who become much more religious than their parents, straining family ties. The article is not available online, but here are a few excerpts, including advice at the bottom on how to handle the situation, with some sites that offer support.

Clergy are in the difficult position of trying to guide young people toward devoutness without dishonoring their families. The reluctance of parents to accept their children's choices can be a source of frustration for some youths and their pastors. "My joke is, they liked them better when they were on drugs," says Pastor Peter La Joy, who directs the student ministry at Calvary Chapel in Tucson, Ariz.
While statistics on the number of devout young people are hard to come by, some groups that minister to the young report big gains. Young Life, an evangelical Christian ministry that focuses on children "disinterested" in religion, says more than 106,000 teens attended its programs on a weekly basis during the 2005-2006 school year, up from 66,362 12 years ago. "Mecca and Main Street," a new book by Geneive Abdo, a senior analyst at the Gallup Organization's Center for Muslim Studies, argues that a significant number of young U.S. Muslims are becoming substantially more devoted to Islam than their parents. In the Jewish community, a growing number of formerly secular young people are embracing an Orthodox lifestyle.

And this:

Tom Lin's parents, immigrants from Taiwan, sent him to Harvard University with the expectation he would become a corporate attorney. When he instead opted for a much lower-paying career in a Christian ministry, his mother threatened to kill herself, says Mr. Lin, 34, a regional director for InterVarsity, a college ministry that has 843 chapters in the U.S. Mr. Lin adds that both parents cut off all communication with him for seven years, reconnecting only after his mother was diagnosed with cancer. (She died in 2002.) Mr. Lin says his choices were "shaming" to the values held within many immigrant cultures. His parents "moved to America for material prosperity," says Mr. Lin. "When [immigrants'] children forsake the very reason they came to this country, it's particularly devastating."
Families in which the children are more religious than the parents aren't the norm. In "Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers," University of Notre Dame professor Christian Smith reports that a child's religious beliefs generally will closely reflect his parents'. And not all religious fervor among the children of secular families has a solely spiritual basis. At times, "it's a part of teenage rebellion," says Azeem Khan, the former national coordinator of Young Muslims, a group that runs summer camps and other youth-oriented religious programs.

Overall, American's religious devotion seems to have remained fairly constant over the past 10 years. In a 2006 Gallup poll, 63% of respondents said they were members of a church or synagogue, down slightly from 65% in 1996. When asked how important they considered religion in their own lives, 57% said it was very important, the same as in 1996.

Here are the sites that offer advice:

"Following Jesus Without Dishonoring Your Parents," edited by Jeanette Yep and Peter Cha
Greg Joa, a contributor to the book, says families should consider how their generational differences can affect views. "The discussion is not just about religion," he says. When choosing religion over lucrative careers, he says, children need to realize a parent's objections are borne out of concern, not judgment. Parents should consider that their kids "haven't grown up under the restrictive pressure of, 'I must achieve more, I must make more,'" he says.
"But my parents aren't saved!" Christian Teen Corner (www.wolfeborobible.com/teen20.html)
If a young person wishes his parents would become more religious, the site recommends that the child show the benefits of devotion by being obedient and respectful: "Don't give your unsaved family members any reason for not wanting to know the Jesus that has made such a change in your life!"
"How do I tell my parents and family I've become a Muslim?" by Saraji Umm Zaid
(www.iprofess.com)
The author suggests that converts and the newly observant wait six to 12 months before alerting their family to their new religious identity, giving time to become "established in Islamic practices" and to "build a support system within the Muslim community."

"Is Orthodox Judaism Driving Our Family Apart?" (www.beingjewish.com)
The site, written by a newly Orthodox woman and her husband, recommends that parents who are concerned with "losing" their children to observant religion reach out to clergy: "Speak to the one who has the most influence on him right now -- his rabbi or religious teacher. ...The rabbi will probably be a good mediator, and can advise both you and the child how to work together."

Update: I found an AP version of the same story.

Labels: Religion in America

Posted by B Feiler at 7:05 AM
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